Turning 50 seemed quite shocking. Of course, I was knew it would happen and usually I am fairly philosophical about my age but on the day I didn’t feel too much like celebrating. Fifty felt suddenly very defining as middle-aged, plus it’s likely that I have now crossed the line of having less years of life left than I have lived. That seems stark.
I am fortunate to be in good health. I regularly exercise and that has kept me in good shape. I probably eat too much sugar and drink too much booze, but, overall, I feel like I am doing okay for my age. Yet, there are a few physical niggles that have crept in over recent years and that only reminds me that I am now 50.
There are parts of my body that are starting to wear out. For example, my knees hurt when I get up from sitting. My back and ankles are stiff when I get out of bed (I don’t jump out of bed any more but carefully unfold myself and then stand up).
My lower back can twinge painfully for days and then feel absolutely fine.
I am far less self-conscious and so I can enjoy doing silly things.
My eyesight is irritating. After years of accepting that I wear specs for being short-sighted I now have the long-sightedness of ageing eyes.
My bladder is not what it used to be. (Sorry to tell you that and I will spare you the details!)
I am actually not too bothered about the wrinkles on my face. I only see those when I look in the mirror and since I can’t see very well I rather like the blurred features that look back at me. (A couple of recent photos have taken me by surprise but generally it’s possible to choose the photos you like an the ones that reveal my actual age to me.)
I am bothered, however, by the changes in my skin and the extra fat deposits. I tell myself this is just another side effect of being older. The menopause is well known for affecting skin elasticity and reducing muscle strength. Putting on a bit of fat around the thighs, bum and waistline is par for the course, apparently.
But I confess I do not like it. I don’t really care what other people think (that is a good part of growing older and less self-conscious) but I do care that I don’t like the new look.
My thigh skin is dimpled and bumpy; my shins have bulging veins at the front; my bum is sagging; my boobs are disappearing (and I didn’t have much in the first place); and the skin around my upper arms is loosening.
With my lovely friend Lesley.
I am doing my best to control this. It’s not for other people, let me remind you, it’s for me, because I prefer my body to be athletic and toned. It males me feel more comfortable that way. Plus I don’t want to be buying a new wardrobe of clothes.
I attend a weekly circuits class and that is helping with muscle tone and strength. When I remember to I add a few press ups to my day and a bit of a yoga stretch.
I need to do more yoga, I know that.
I am more conscious of what I drink and I have cut down the weekday alcohol.
I also try to ignore the pains and niggles and get out on the trails for as much running as I can. I still ride my bike and walk mountains but it’s running that is my focus just now.
Gritting my teeth to get to the finish line of a 7km race.
I wear longer shorts because I hate the top area of my legs these days.
And sometimes the running goes well
There are days when I run with my friend Jo and I feel quite strong. (There are other days when I feel very flat and fatigued. These days seem to be more frequent but I try to ignore them. I blame my hormones.)
I signed up for two races (TrailFest Scotland) and with no ambition of being competitive I have been surprised by my placings. In the most recent 12km I was third lady (and it was not an age group placing). I was third against all the women across all age groups.
I have also enjoyed some longer runs. I had always thought that I was a shorter, faster runner but as I gain years I find that a longer events suit me better.
I have also started to listen to my body a bit more. If I feel too tired or I have one too many niggles I give myself a day or two off.
I have learned that I have great days and crap days and it seems to be part of a rollercoaster of being a 50-year-old woman.
I am lucky in many ways, too
I feel fortunate to have many great friends – and this is one of the things about being 50 that I love. I know who I am and where I am and who my friends are.
I am happily married (it has taken me a few relationships!)
I like my freedom. It was wonderful to be a full-time mum but I relish the freedom to do my own thing and travel more now that my daughter has moved on to living independently.
I enjoy making plans for a different way to live my (our) life. I will be blogging about this, too, in due course.
I will be writing more about being Fit@50 or, at least, trying to be Fit@50. It would be great to hear about your own experiences, from both men and women.