I am taking part in the toughest event I’ve ever done – the four-day Ultra Tour Monte Rosa stage race – in a week’s time. I rarely race and I do not tend to fund-raise but I have been thinking about raising money in mum’s memory since she died three years ago. This event feels big and daunting enough to warrant a fundraiser. I will be splitting any money raised between St Luke’s Hospice Cheshire, where mum spent the last weeks of her life, and Macmillan Cancer Support.
Mum, cancer and her care
It was this time, three years ago, that my dear mum (Sue Russell) was dying of cancer. The diagnosis of terminal illness had come only weeks before and mum, aged 76, died a few weeks later. It was a shocking, traumatic and very emotional time for everyone close to her and especially for mum because she was an intensely private and dignified person.
She told me she hated the idea of being an artefact in a museum of dying and she simply wanted a quick and peaceful end because there was no chance of a cure. She was devastated and scared by the diagnosis but, in the end, the speed of her decline and death was mercifully swift. No one should need to suffer long when their body is destroyed by cancer.
Mum spent some of the last weeks of her life at home and supported by Macmillan Cancer Support nurses. I will be eternally grateful for their care after I called them to explain some of mum’s difficulties. They visited her at home and showed immense empathy, kindness and respect. They were able to personalise their advice and support to suit mum’s situation.
In the final few weeks, mum needed more care and she spent the last weeks of her life in St Luke’s Hospice in Winsford, near where she lived with my dad. I visited her as many times as I could – Inverness to Cheshire is not an easy journey – and while I wished mum could have been at home as she died, I found the care of hospice staff very comforting, both for mum and for me.
It must be an incredibly hard job, caring for people who are close to death, but they did so with love, patience and expertise.
Writing these words returns me to the hell of missing mum. The pain is not so frequent these days but it’s still very intense each time I suddenly remember that she is not there for a familiar chat, a moan about this or that, a proud moment when I tell her about her grand-daughter and to update her on whatever my latest adventure is, or has been.
I expect mum would have rolled her eyes at next week’s “madness”. “Why do you do these things to yourself?” she would have said. “Why, indeed?” I would agree, although I am well aware that I like a challenge and every so often I like a challenge that feels a bit scary.
Getting fit for the Ultra Tour Monte Rosa
The UTMR has brought focus to this year and I have spent many months training towards the goal. At the age of 57, conditioning for an endurance race requires more dedication that even a decade ago. I hoped to avoid injury and I knew I would need to build up slowly and consistently.
I also needed to train while working and also helping Hubby G with the on-going renovation of our home.
Successful ultra runner and coach Nicky Spinks has been very helpful with a training programme flexible enough to fit around my busy life and the weather. I have had the wonderful support of friends, including my Flanci Filly chums. In particular, Rachel, Cath and Selina, who are also doing the UTMR, as well as David P, Geraldine, Victoria and Claire, have been great companions for runs, mountain outings and loch dips over the past eight months. Sophie has also been a wonderful Wednesday Wanderer friend for mid-week mountains.
I’ve been a regular at the gym for heavy weights sessions with Izzie and my favourite massage therapist Charlie has ironed out the knots when things have felt sore and tight. Other friends have offered a sometimes much-needed listening ear when things did not seem to be going too well. You know who you are! And the 100 daily press-ups continue thanks to my pal Fraser. All of the above has helped to get me close to feeling reasonably confident of finishing each day of the UTMR.
UTMR fundraiser
The day I found out that mum had died I was in the middle of a hill race in the Scottish Borders. I decided then that one day I would find a way to remember her – and give back to the charities that supported her in her final weeks.
My aim is to complete this challenging race. I will be delighted if I can do that. I hope you will agree that it’s a fitting way to raise funds in memory of my mum. You can donate here if you wish: Giving Wheel.
Mum was both a mother and a friend and I miss her every single day.