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Spin class review: Hoo Ha Ride Glide

Written by Fiona December 17 2014

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What is it that these ladies are wearing for their spin class that you probably haven’t thought of?

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And what is it that this grinning lady has on that the men don’t?

The answer is: Hoo Ha Ride Glide.

hoo-ha-ride-glideHoo Ha Ride Glide is a special chamois cream formulated for women cyclists by women cyclists.

It protects your most girlie parts from chafing while cycling. It also claims to protect from friction burns, irritation, inflammation, saddle sores and infection.

Apparently, as an extra, Hoo Ha provides healing and a lasting cool feeling so you enjoy the ride.

The instructions are:

  • Do apply to your nooks and crannies down below.
  • Do apply to your chamois.
  • Do apply to other skin areas, such as thighs, where exercise chafing occurs.
  • Do wash your hands before and after use.
  • Don’t settle for “nuts” cream
  • Don’t ignore the needs of your Hoo Ha
  • Don’t cycle, or spin without it.

Just so you know, ordinary chamois cream should not be applied to those delicate areas down below. Doing so can too easily cause massive lady garden carnage.

For anyone women who take part in regular spin sessions over the winter you’ll know all about the battering that your hoo ha takes over an hour of hard and sweaty exercise.

The spin bike seats are not the same as your more comfortable bike seat (the one with the hole in the middle that most sensible cycling girls now swear by).

The position on a spin bike also forces extra pressure into those tender front parts so you often end up numb or sore.

Which is why at the Glasgow Triathlon Club “Christmas” spin session this week (with Crack the Whip Seanster Baby in charge) I decided that we’d do a big Hoo Ha Ride Glide test.

The ladies who fancied giving it a try popped off to the loos with their wee dollop of Ride Glide to apply.

They all came back smiling and muttering happily about “lovely tingly sensations down there”, “like that special gel you buy from Anne Summers” and “so nice and soothing”.

The spin session started with the ladies smiling broadly. The men seemed puzzled.

Halfway through when one’s under carriage usually starts to feel the pain I asked the ladies how they were feeling.

“Oh, yes, nice. Nice,” said one.

“Good. Really good,” said another.

“Great. No pain. Just perfect,” mooned another.

The other ladies just grinned away.

The men looked on puzzled and increasingly jealous.

And so the session continued apace with the usual muscle pain and hopefully some fitness gain. Seanster Baby leads a mean spin class.

By the end, every spin participant looked knackered and sweaty. I asked the ladies how they felt down below.

“Oh, gorgeous, actually.”

“Really good. Kind of numb but without pain. It’s great that stuff.”

“Perfect. It’s the first spin session without hoo ha pain.”

So, in summary, and to quote one of the lady spinners: “We all found spin class a far more pleasurable ride.”

If you are looking for a big tube of Hoo Ha Ride Glide check out Edinburgh Bicycle.

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